LatiNegra Sexologist

memories are like gold in these parts

b/c my people dont last too long and die from losing their memory, forgetting to eat, bathe, move, think, breath and everything else.

so when folks fuck w/my memories, the ones i’m gradually and slowing losing and forgetting that shit scares me.

when the folks who play an active role in helping me form new memories fuck w/that process and dont follow through. that shit scares me too, but more because i get lost with what to do next. and i think this is a glimpse into what it’s like to lose that memory. lose those memories and the ability to produce new ones.

i dont want to just remember all the fucked up stuff, i want to remember the joy and pleasure too. when folks fuck w/that joy and pleasure and it does not arrive for me to build new memories, rage. rage at the mind, at my mind, at my genetics that externally this body doesn’t claim but internally it’s exactly like theirs.

ask your god/desses what kind of life this is. what kind of god/desses create this illness. create these lives. i see this illness in me and try to ignore it and remind myself, no bi, you remember all 66 students names this semester that’s not any illness!

it’s in me. no matter what kind of foods for the brain i eat or dont eat. it’s already in me.

and so my memories i have are like gold because i know they wont last as long as i will on this earth in this life.

“i was just one in a million who thinks the heyday was their day tragically longing for the past…to memories i say i’ve had enough because i try.”