Fierce-haired Puerto Rican Sexologist! Co-founder of The LatiNegr@s Project, radical educator and woman of Color w/a disability, titi/auntie, fat pro-choice independendista femme. Basically a pretty cool broad.
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if you want to join us, it’s in bk, get at me.
To have a community member “call you out”/hold you accountable it is a gift.
Lots of folks get caught up in a “call out culture” where some folks seem to be waiting for you to fuck up and blast you. This is not everyone all the time. But, when you are wrong, and you are held accountable, corrected, and have the opportunity to apologize and learn, take it! This is a gift of love, especially if it is by someone you know well, and most especially if it is by someone you do not know well.
Folks are hurt and oppressed in numerous ways. When you act in a way that maintains that oppression, hurt, and are told you actions have resulted in such pain; that is your opportunity to unlearn and make change. Take advantage and do the work.
Here’s what has helped in the past:
You respond by saying “thank you,” to the person/people who have held you accountable. You acknowledge the gift and what you have done wrong by saying “i appreciate you holding me accountable about what I did/said that resulted in xyz.” You then you make your own plan to unlearn and you be transparent about that work. In the past what has helped is “I am going to leave this post for accountability purposes, I’d like to edit it with a link to what I plan to do in my un/learning process.” Then you outline your un/learning process and hold yourself accountable. You then do what you say you will do. At times you may provide a public check in, or if folks inquire you share as much as is comfortable at the time. You end with saying “thank you” again. Sometimes you may repeat this lesson above in closing.
Without realizing it, folks will be paying attention to how you respond, what you say, and how you say it to the folks impacted. People will also appreciate witnessing your transparency. It will help some folks when they find themselves in similar situations. It will be helpful as a guide and reminder that they are not alone, the heat they may feel moving through their body, is not foreign, many have felt this and may feel this again.
You will then be able to provide the same accountability to others in your network. You will do so with compassion and from a place of love and respect. To realize that anger can manifest from love and respect is important to remember. You may say to folks “you did/said xyz and that is hurtful because it is xyz. When I am held accountable I remember it’s from a place of love and respect and wish to mirror that in our exchange.” This is what it may mean to stand in solidarity with people and groups of which you may not be a part but who too are working towards their own liberation.
For inquiries or to hire email LatiNegraSexologist@gmail.com
I’d love to offer this to a Latinx guitarist for Latinx Heritage Month, but I’m down to offer it to anyone who gets back to me. I’ll need your mailing address (no PO boxes unfortunately), and a government name. This could also be a gift for someone else.
1 year subscription is 12 issues. Takes 4-6 weeks (usually doesn’t take this full time) for first issue to be received. This is how I get a majority of my magazine subscriptions.
First person to reach out with full info receives the subscription. I usually get a confirmation email, so if you want that sent to you provide that as well. Feel free to share.
MEXICANS OF AFRICAN DESCENT ESTABLISHED LOS ANGELES ON THIS DAY IN 1781
The Los Angeles Pobladores, or “townspeople,” were a group of 44 settlers and four soldiers from Mexico who established the famed city on this day in 1781 in what is now California. The settlers came from various Spanish castes, with over half of the group being of African descent.
What you write and create has value.
It may feel like folks don’t ever read or engage with your work and with you unless it it so critique you. It may be true from time to time. That does not ever invalidate your body of work and creations. What you write, some may not read, others may, some may forget, others not ever want to know. But you know you wrote and created what you did and that is what is important.
Then, one day, someone will write you saying your creation or writing impacted them in some way. You won’t expect it, you may view your work as old and may even see parts that you’d want to write or edit differently. Nonetheless, what you created was something folks appreciated. Even if just one person appreciated it, that’s enough.
Then, on another day, you’ll decide it’s time. It’s time to write more, write a book, create a film, write life lessons. You’ll believe it’s time to share some of what you’ve held onto and learned from, you’ll recognize the dearth in the field and wish to fill it in new ways with new media. And you will do it. And it will fill you. And you won’t care who does/not read or engage with what you create because you will learn that the folks who want what you have will find you and seek you out and build with you. And you will build with them.
For inquries or to hire email LatiNegraSexologist@gmail.com